Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Nina vs Movie Makers

You know what makes spoofs awesome? The fact that they make fun of something halfway silly, but with at least some substantial content. That's why Spaceballs is hilarity times ten. But when you get a downright stupid film to begin with- its not even worth mustering up the comedic muse to try to mock it. I mean really. I'm not exactly a box-office fanatic- it will take pretty much something brand spankin' awesome, like Transformers, to get me to fork over $10 of hard earned pesos in exchange for an hour and a half of visual merit. But there's not enough mushrooms in the world that would make me, Nina McAwesomeSauce, to watch even 2.5 seconds of..

Cowboys vs Aliens. 

I mean, if you survived past that ridonkulous title, you can see clearly that the wonderful ingenuity behind the direction/production of such success in the making can single-handedly spoof itself. Cowboys? First you want me to mentally portray cowboys as some fruit cakes with skinny jeans that like to cuddle in tents.. (plus other unspeakable things) and then you want to believe those same cowboys are going to join together to conquer... Extraterrestrials?

Figure 1 A
If you get Taylor Swift dressed up in wicked plaid and boots to duel Katy Perry as an alien.. now that I might watch, for the fashion alone. See figure 1A 

How can the movie industry fall so low?! It seems like just last summer we were graced with majestic films that made us drool, like Inception and Avatar, but I guess films like those are the rarity- buried under a barrage of garbage.

You know what would make a better movie? Rabies Infested Racoons vs Robotic Raptors that spit radioactive fire... fluid! See Figure 1B
Figure 1B