Monday, December 30, 2013

2013, 2014 & New Year's Resolutions

Well it's safe to say the year is practically over. Sure, we still have about 35 odd hours in which some global catastrophe can still happen, such as Miley Cyrus twerking up a storm for New Years. But for the most part, we've had more than a general idea of what the year was about.

And may I say, I am Not Impressed. <Insert Makayla Meme>

Between the garden variety of school shootings and bombings, the world is becoming a less and less wonderful neighborhood to live in. Sure we can talk about medical advances, charity water, and all sorts of movements to bring food to Syrians and everyone else caught in crossfire. But at the end of the day, the issues ranging from debt ceiling and medical insurance for all, to famine and crime- have only gotten murkier and more complex.

Not that 2014 deserves to be written off before having started; but we also can't throw all of everything that's wrong on a symbolic time-keeping concept and hope for it to magically sort itself out. I've heard many people say "2014, please be good to me." Quite honestly, you sound pathetic. Praying to and beseeching an inanimate, intangible concept is absolutely puerile. Let's grow up, people- and start taking accountability for our lives.

New Year's Resolution? How about this. How about instead of saying how much we're going to be healthier, we simply stop zombie-walking towards any flashing neon sign with a dollar menu? You don't need a New Year, a new month, or a Monday. How about now? Today?

How about instead of seeking to amplify the drama in your life by constantly exploiting it, you try to get along with others? How about learning to be at peace with oneself? How about doing something for someone else, without expecting something in return?

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that reasonable expectations and personal determination are really going to be the deciding factor for your 2014. You can't plant peach seeds and expect orange trees. You reap what you sow. Pretty much the easiest maxim in life to understand and one that holds timeless truth that supersedes generations.

So 2014? It's going to be my year; to continue on this road of self-improvement and being a better human being for others.


Monday, November 18, 2013

On past, present and future

"Accept what is

let go of what was

and have faith in what will be.." (Anonymous)

        You know, I don't normally share these kind of maxims here and there, because I think most of them are cheesy. In my opinion, they are created to be generic sugar-truths to make people feel better about embarrassing pasts. (Yes, we know what you did last summer..) But in all sincerity, I really liked this little nugget of realization/coping mechanism that someone passed on to me after hearing of a rough day I went through.
        I'd like to add to this maxim though. Accepting, letting go, and having faith are all good pointers, but too vague. Accepting what? The things we can't change? Letting go of what was.. well, that's pretty straightforward. But having faith.. well, in what? For how long? In reality I truly believe you need to take a slightly more proactive look at life. As an intuitive feeler/thinker, I can get lost in my own maze of thoughts and wonder about my future. It really is the only thing that helps unravel the mess of frustration I find myself in when things aren't going my way. I constantly have to ask myself, where am I going with this? Why is it worth the effort? And well, having faith in that my path is going to lead to the goals I set for myself in the future.
      In reality the biggest hurdle we face when it comes to goals is our present life. Because goals require focus, and distraction is everywhere, it is a constant challenge to stay on the rails and beam the headlights in the right direction; forward. When distractions inevitably do happen however, it's only a short while before frustration and confusion abound, claiming center stage. And when that happens.. well. You do what I do.
      Take a step back, and sit down in a quiet corner. Think of where you want to be and how to (realistically) get there. Speak to encouraging people who will motivate you and direct you in the right path, keeping you steered. Do your research. And set a date. Without a date, goals are only dreams. And with a date you can constantly say to yourself when you feel overwhelmed, this is only until _______. Only _____ more days.
      And that my friends, is how I plan to be in another part of the world at a certain point in the future..






Thursday, October 31, 2013

3 Year Anniversary



In case the subtle pictures above didn't get the point across..

I am celebrating my three year blogging anniversary!! Yay!

That's right. My blog has now been alive and kicking longer than most celebrity marriages. It has survived Hurricane Sandy, the Faux Rapture, The End of the World, the controversial "death" of Osama the death of Gaddhafi, a couple bad haircuts, and even the Government Shutdown. So I guess I'm here to stay. Until I am kicked off the internet or come down with a new strand of swine flu. For the last time, GET THAT FLU SHOT AWAY FROM ME!

Anywho. I guess its the time of year to get reflective on the past and prance on the soapbox about how my life has been a voyage and how much I've grown, and blah blah blah.. But really I don't want to do that this year.

I just want to say THANKS. I don't make money from this little blog here, but I get a lot of great feedback from friends and strangers. As an extrovert that places high value on communication and relationships, that's worth more than the occasional buck.

My life is pretty funny sometimes. I work in an office where the general hiring age is 35-75. Being 22 and impossibly snarky, I often feel like I live in a world full of memes. I volunteer a minimum of 70 hours a month to the community. And I also love spending time with my wonderful friends. Yet regardless of how busy life is, I am always drawn back to my little corner on the web where I can say deep things, ridiculous things, remotely humorous things and eventually get a bone here and there.

So thanks for coming back and reading my insanity. Disclaimer: It's probably making you crazier too. But stick with me, and I promise I will always provide you with material to enjoy while you are supposed to be working. (It's okay.. I won't rat you out)

As a token of my appreciation, for my first four readers I am giving out a $5 Starbucks gift card. Here's how you can get your hands on some nice java, compliments of yours truly.

1) Follow me on twitter.. nin_famous
2) Like me on facebook. (links are on the right side of my site)
3) Choose your favorite blog post I've written and link to it in your tweet as well as share it on your wall.
4) Mention me!
5) Leave a comment on this post after you did all of the above.

And finally.. wait for awesomeness to be poured into your cup.


Now back to work.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Not Sunshine, but Not Rain

I'm going to start off this post by saying to my dear friends, I'm okay. Maybe even good. I know a few of you worried after yesterday's atypical somber post. But sometimes you have write through the rut you're in to come out to the sunlight on the other side. After a tough day, or week, or month.. it's nice to have a little respite and feel optimistic again. Granted, it may not be sunshine yet, but it's not rain.

It's funny because my situation yesterday and my situation today are at face value, exactly the same. I haven't had some quintessential revelation or hit the lottery. (Not that I would ever want to deal with all that unasked for limelight) Yet today I have a better outlook.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I got a good night's sleep. And all the support and love from friends helped to save the day, too. In any case, I am ready to get over myself and get back to mocking other people and things. (You knew it wouldn't be much longer.)

I'm actually quite happy that my little side gig at www.fiverr.com/ninalocks is going so well. I never thought two years ago when I told people I'd write their articles for cash it would actually pay off. Lucky for me, writing is the one (and only thing) that comes easy to me and is quite enjoyable. Hence, my gig has really made it possible to improve my writing style and expound on the versatility and scope of my words. Which I guess, is partially why I started blogging; to not let writing become a dusty, rusty skill.

In any case, it's a nice feeling when someone tells you they like what you wrote. Someone can call you pretty, or even funny. Those are nice compliments as well. But when someone says things like,

"It's nice when someone who says that writing is their gift is indeed gifted at writing"

"There is a reason this woman does not have a single bad review and it is simply because she is absolutely amazing at doing what she advertised. If your hesitating don't, you wont regret it."

I can literally feel my heart smiling. I love writing. When everything in my world seems obscure and uncertain, my fingers furiously take off quickly formatting thoughts to ideas to words. And when those words touch someone, the gratification is overwhelming. 

So what I think I'm trying to get at here in this hopelessly digressed post, is that even if the light is flickering and the "Welcome to Hope" sign is miles away, I can always write myself back to contentment. That is, as long as I have fingers.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Carry On

Life is full of little surprises. And bigger surprises. And colossal surprises that take the wind out of your sails and leave you scrambling to get up in the dust.

No.. this is not one of those "pity me please", posts. Everyone has it rough in life somehow. Yet we dust ourselves off and carry on because.. well why, exactly? If life is so complicated and so little reward is returned, why do we carry on?

We carry on because no one wants to die. We carry on because others depend on us. We carry on because there is a shred of hope in us somewhere, perhaps beat up or shriveled up, abandoned in a corner but not ultimately forgotten. We carry on because its the only thing we can do.

In a way life is like a governess. A stern, and unforgiving governess. She humbles you constantly and reminds you of your puny limitations. She smirks at you when you feel bliss because she knows what's coming for you around the corner. And she hands you life lessons served cold, when you weren't hungry for them.

What do I chalk up the wonderful obstacles in my life to? Timing is one of them. Had I been born 10 years earlier, I may have avoided a few of the pinches that came my way. But seeing as I can't crawl back into a uterus and rocket back to 1981, that idea is useless.

So.. I do what I know how to do. Pray about it, get some guidance, and push forward. If the mantra is right, if it doesn't kill me, it's supposed to make me stronger. Well, just call me Iron Woman. Because I am not going down without a fight.

Bring it on, life. I may be bruised and I may be weary, but I have a secret weapon you won't ever take away from me.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Teach Me to Forget

I know I can't be alone on this boat. I know I am not the only one that has tried for years to forget a certain event, a certain person, a certain circumstance.. and yet despite all that trying; find themselves staring at a memory embossed in the soul. Etched in eyelids of the heart. Forever branded in your mind.

Why is it that things I want to remember- deep conversations with friends that reveal the trenches of their being and the make up of their persona, words of comfort and direction that will light the path you saunter, pleasant memories that make your heart swell, etc- are all held captive in the foggy room in your brain that shrinks and swallows these moments away forever? Geez, it's an uphill battle for me to even remember what I had for lunch yesterday, but when it comes to one topic in particular.. it's almost instantaneous. Effortless. Like blinking. And all of a sudden.. there it is, in all its glory.

Every hue in the spectrum vivid, the reflection of sunlight, the day, the occasion, the moment. I want to forget it. For good. Not just stash it away in a treasure chest and drop it in the deepest part of the sea of my soul- only to find it gained buoy abilities and has glass-bottled its way to the shore. No. I want it gone. Out of sight and mind. I want it to be gone as smoothly and easily as hitting backspace on this sentence.

Hence, its not meant to be. (I've tried that too.)

I'd really like to crack the code on why certain synapses stay forever lodged in repeat mode. You throw them in a dusty corner, cover them up with mounds of new memories, (which require a lot of hard work) only to realize that any unexpected trigger will electrify them into rebirth. There has to be a better way.

My explanation for this- because it's the only semi-rational thing I can conjure- is that the deeper the emotion for a memory, the longer the memory sticks around. Were you utterly embarrassed, humiliated, hurt, lovestruck, shocked, amazed.. ? Then the memory associated with it will probably last a lifetime. (Sorry) Take for example, your first day of school. Because of the nervous apprehension and excitement of that day, you probably remember it vividly, if not pretty well. You probably can recreate the scene in your mind. Same goes for your first day of work, or your first time being lost, etc, etc..

But can you remember what you had for dinner two months ago on a Saturday? Or what time you took the trash out that day? If you're normal; probably not. Why should you, right? But here's the thing- somewhere in your mind, that information is there. The brain doesn't just arbitrarily choose what to store and what to discard, right?... Can it be that it takes cues from your emotional make-up to decide whether information is worth storing? In such case, you are subconsciously telling your mind what memories to hold dear and what is useless data.

So... in a nutshell.. don't care = forget. Care to a degree = remember.

It has to be the reason why I keep forgetting not to dry my face with a towel before removing my make up, even though my mother has no problem reminding me every. single. time.

Anyway- I digress. The point in case is- care less, forget more.

I've tried re-conditioning. For the most part, it's effective. I call it "Overlapping Memories". Revisit the place you want to forget, and create new, positive memories. But all the effort put into this sometimes reminds me why I'm putting so much effort into this. Which then reminds me of the original memory.

Clearly if all these years of hard work, of deleting, casting away and throwing out objects that remind you of that moment hasn't worked; maybe it's time for a different approach.

Yes; maybe it's time to take a walk down to the abandoned basement of the mind, dig through the piles of dusty boxes, remove the furniture and broken knick-knacks, drag out and stare this memory right in the face. Invite it for musing, accept the fact it will probably always be a part of you, and decide not to care any longer. Save yourself the mental homework, the draining process of burying it with a ton of physical and mental creations, and let it be.

After all, you can't control the past, or even most of the present and future. But you will always be able to-and you can always find solace in the fact, that ultimately only you can control your reaction to any situation life throws your way.


Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Reality of Exercise

There's a lot of hubbub these days for people to try all sorts of extreme sports and fitness activities.. from cross-fit to insanity, to circuit and suspension training.. there's definitely an exercise to float your boat. 

Yours truly here kicked laziness in the butt and started hitting the gym regularly in March of this year. I am now at the 7 month mark, and I feel it is time, dare I say, I have earned the right to express the reality of exercise. 

You may have heard a couple things about working out, and of course, I'm going to bullet point them and give you my two cents. Because that's what you're expecting by now. I am not an expert by any means. I am just an ordinary girl like you that wants to make sure she works off the french fries and buttery breads she eats on a regular basis. The points below are just my opinion. Always remember to check with your Doctor before starting any exercise routine... I don't want you passing out mid way through Zumba. 


  • Exercise is addicting! Um; to put simply- NO. It's just as addicting as electric shocks and sitting on forks. Even though I have maintained a regular routine; I have yet to feel withdrawal symptoms from not going to the gym. Really, the main driving force to going back is the fact I'm paying for it. Okay, that and the fact I feel better. Here's the deal- its easier to stay in bed and watch Netflix, or sleep in and feel groggy all the time. But when you get out of bed, or leave work and head straight to the gym, your mood does improve post workout and your energy levels rise. But the knowledge that you are going to put yourself through torture is never tantalizing to me, personally. I much rather sit down at a table and indulge in freshly cooked bacon. Of course, after working out I always feel like an Olympic medalist, with a little extra flab here and there. 
  • It boosts your self-esteem. Yeah sure, once you pull your hair back in a bun and wear dark colored yoga pants, it can all be uphill at that point. Not to mention sweating bullets next to a life sized barbie and ken on steroids to your right. But in all sincerity, I have to agree with this one. Knowing you made the right choice that day and your body is thanking you in the long run is a positive note. At the end of the day you will sleep better, feel more relaxed, and overall better about yourself. 
  • Structure your exercise with cardio and weights.  I guess here it all depends on your goals. I'm not looking to become the next Mrs Universe, but I do want to stay a healthy weight and have a happy, regularly beating heart. Cardio is definitely a good way to start, but make sure you change it up and continually increase the intensity. Otherwise you won't be doing yourself much of a favor. For example, if you start running on the treadmill, try to hit new levels every week. Try to outdo your personal best so that your stamina and endurance increase, which in turn will give you a positive boost. Add weight training for muscle definition, less weight and more reps for a leaner definition and more weight less reps to bulk up. Don't forget to take your protein post workout! I love to add frozen fruits to mine and soymilk. 
  •  Switch it up. I personally enjoy taking classes such as cycling and kickbox, and choose different instructors so that I don't get bored. Exercise is already grueling. It doesn't have to be boring and predictable as well. During the better weathered months, I like to run and jog outside. Sometimes even by the beach if I'm feeling adventurous. Have a somewhat regular time frame, but change what you do, so your body doesn't plateau and you're working out but not reaching the weight loss you were expecting. 

That pretty much wraps up the main points. Try  not to let more than a week go by without exercising. Once you fall off the horse, it's really hard to jump back to a steady routine. So don't lose momentum! Even if you're tired, or you've had a long day, make the effort. Set a minimum of just 30 minutes. And you will be a happy camper. 

Word of advice: if it's been a long time since your body has been put through a regimented exercise routine, take it slow at first. And make sure you always drink plenty of water, especially after weight training. Start and finish with a little cardio to warm up your body and then break up the lactic acid build up. That will help you avoid jellyfish arms the next day. See fig 1A(Take it from me; the inability to use any arm and raise it above eye level is not a walk in the park.)

And after all is said and done, happy working out! 

P.S. Don't forget to have a little reward here and there.. i.e. extra bacon cheeseburger.. yum...
Fig 1A Jellyfish Arms. Extremely painful, rare condition caused by extreme overuse of biceps during exercise after a long period of no physical strenuous activity. 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

The switch to T-Mobile

Hello my friends, peers, audience.. stalkers.

I recently made the switch from AT&T to T-Mobile. I own an Apple iPhone 4s, and since my relationship on the family plan was soon coming to a bitter end, it was time to go network shopping.

I haven't had my own phone line since I was 17 and used Metro PCS back in Florida. Pre-smart phone era, it was the best, most affordable plan. Back when unlimited texting wasn't a thing, they offered it. Back when minutes had to rollover and anytime/whenever minutes were crucial. Back when the 'pseudo-internet' for phones was in its glory. Back when Lindsey Lohan had a career.

So needless to say, I was a little panicky about having to jump into the contracts-for-phones world. It's not that I'm non-committal. I just don't want to be forced to stick with something if I find something better come along. So I did my research (read: googled debates and articles) and settled on T-Mobile. Before I wouldn't have given them the time of day. So what made me change my mind?

Their new, contract free JUMP! plan. I'm not one to always have the latest shiny gadget, as we remember from this post and that one. But once I saw what it would cost to have unlimited everything and 2.5 gigs of data, I sealed the deal. A few days later the SIM card arrived in the mail and I was back on the grid, happily updating nonsensical facebook status and hashtaggin' away. So far here are a few things I've noticed:


  • Customer service for T-Mobile is great. Not sure if you've heard otherwise, but when I was contemplating carriers, I kept hearing TM was the worst. In all sincerity I have gotten quick, rapid, helpful and pleasant responses every time. 
  • My phone now displays 3G instead of 4. Okay, so ATNT takes this one. My phone was a little faster on the ATNT network and GPS signal loaded a few moments earlier. Reception as far as calls is about 55/45 with ATNT in the lead. However, talks are that TM is in the works to get their customers 4G LTE. I will continue waiting for it patiently. Update: Since Sunday, Sept 1st, my phone now displays the 4G banner at the top left. Not all the time, as it alternates in spotty areas, but for the most part it is 4G.
  • My plan comes with standard Tethering. That's a big one for me. I love my iPad and want to be able to netflix on the road sometimes or check something on a larger screen. No wifi? No problem. I can tether my iPad to my phone painlessly and quickly. 

There you have it. Want to know how switch over using your iPhone from ATNT to Tmobile? Read ahead to the steps I took. 
  1. Before the account is disconnected with your current carrier, log onto the TM site. Go through the web process of ordering the right SIM card and choosing a plan. You pay for the SIM cards and decide whether you want to keep your current number or not. Your phone must still be active with the former company for this.
  2. Unblock your iPhone. You can call ATNT to unblock it for you.. or if your nephew's best friend's brother can do it for you for a few bucks, go for it. In a matter of hours your phone should be unlocked. 
  3. When the SIM card arrives, turn on your computer and open iTunes. Make sure your phone is connected to WiFi. Insert the new SIM card, and then connect your iPhone to the computer. It should cycle power and when it returns you should be on the TMobile network. Sending photos may still not work for you, no big deal. Open your phone's settings and tweak them using these numbers: http://support.t-mobile.com/docs/DOC-2383  
  4. Your phone should be up and running. Shut it on and off a few times if you don't get it right away. And that's that! 
Enjoy being back on the grid and having cash in your pocket.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Failed Expectations

I'm just going to come out and say it. Nothing is more deflating than a failed expectation.

You had high hopes for the calorie-to-taste ratio in that chocolate cake to be astronomically in your favor. You were hoping the mere inhalation of its perfect cubed crumbs would satiate your soul. And then.. you took a big bite out of it and found out it was a dog treat brownie.

So many things in life are like aforementioned doomsday brownie. Buildup, apprehension, illusions and hopes- and then at the apex, a devastating drop from crushing heights. And they apply to many circumstances in life, from movies to vacation, to reconnecting with family from the past . But I am going to focus it on.. ..take a guess.. 

People. 

The problem here is, my whole life I have lived by "Benefit of the Doubt" motto. (Blame the die hard idealist in me) If someone seems like a pesky person, a little catty, a little snippy, maybe a little moody.. well, let's sweep it under the rug. Maybe they're having a bad day. Maybe they're sick or battling some deep emotional war. 

Sometimes I am hardheaded, I do admit. I hold on so tight to a friendship/connection I know is absolutely unproductive and going nowhere fast out of stubborn blind hope that it will make a resurgence. Why do I do this to myself? Psychoanalysis has revealed the following concrete information: I keep hoping the good in you will resurface, because I saw it once, a flash, maybe.. but it was there! Because I don't take failure well. Because I live in a fairy tale world where everything is rainbows and coffee rain. Because I don't understand why people can't just be authentic and nice to one another.

Well. After two decades of the same old baloney and I am retracting the motto. I no longer have the patience and sanity to try to figure you out and give you time to come around, if you ever do. If you have proven yourself time and time again to be intrinsically bitter, irascible, cold, abrasive or just unpleasant, I have no obligation to keep putting myself in the way of such fire. For once, I am going to forgive myself, and stop mulling about it.

Why? Because the compensation is terrible. Here I am doling out caviar on crystal plates while you are using them as dog bowls and eventually, frisbees.(Not sure why there are so many canine references in this post..)  If there are warning signs from the get go, I am collecting those flags and exiting stage right. 

Here is what I have learned, and in hopes that some of you endangered-near-extinct species of kind people save yourselves from the general dilemma that are expectation failures, I have organized them as bullet points, for easy reading, but mainly because I like bullet points.
  • It sounds simple enough, and often repeated, but it has to be stated for truth's sake. Don't get your hopes up. That job, that friend, that dessert may very well be the most palatable, but life dictates that it will usually be bland at best, and terribly unpleasant at worst. Lesson? Stay level. "Nothing terrible or completely amazing will come out of this."
  • Learn to be reserved. No, that doesn't mean be COLD. It means cordial and kind, but not out-of-your-way, every day favor kind of kind, if I do make myself clear. 
  • And last.. learn how to Keep Your Cool..Face. These people have only taken your sleep, your favors, your generosity and a shred of sanity. Don't give them your peace and happiness as well. Learn how to keep your cool, stay calm, and disconnect yourself from those draining emotions.In short, stop caring.. for the things that aren't worth it. This is a tough one, especially for those of us that are naturally loyal and have, you know, those weird strings attached to your heart called feelings? But it's not impossible. Practice makes perfect. And there's nothing like having your liver intact.
  • Don't become cynical. It's all to easy to stroll through Scornful Groves Lane and fall into a bitter remorse rut. Not everything is dark and terrible, not everyone is a wasted effort waiting to happen, not every opportunity is a segue to chaos, even though it may seem that way at times. So strive to keep that balance between reality and idealism. 
Moral of the story: keep your expectations low.. and maybe one fine day, someone/something will blow you out of the water simply by being excellently mediocre. Just.. don't hold your breath.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

All Smiles and Small Talk

In case you were thinking office environment, or casual meetings after reading the title.. that's part of what today's post entails. I have realized that as humans we all may be very different in detail, but when you zoom out and see the big picture, we are all really the same person with the same core mechanism of dealing with things.

How so? Well.. 

Think about it. Why do we smile day in and day out, encourage small talk, sigh, click our tongue and end every conversation with, "Oh well!" or, "I hear ya!" "What ya gonna do?". The answer? Because it's easier to keep things light and fluffy than deal with the heavy and somber reality of things. No one wants a solution; they really just want a pat on the back or an empty reassurance that "it will be okay..", even though nothing may be further from the truth.

And I can somewhat understand. No one wants to be Debbie Downer and waddle in misery and hopelessness. Take it from me, I am stubbornly optimistic and hopelessly idealistic. Yet.. sometimes you need to wake up and smell the coffee so you can proactively react to the challenges before you, both individually and as the human race.

It's the same reason people avoid sticky topics like religion, current news and politics.. no one wants conflict, no one wants confrontation. No one really wants to know the other side of the cookie, the grass on the face of the mountain. No one wants to stare reality in the face, as she can be hideous. They are content with blocking everything out and watching marathons of Pretty Little Liars. Life is so much simpler on fiction TV.. everything resolved in an episode, and people kiss and make-up. Anyway, I digress.

But we all know that's not going to happen. This world is more focused on embellishing fancy band-aids to cover rotting wounds than in actually curing the wounds. For example.. scientists, philosophers and curious people alike want to learn how to live forever, not for the sake of improving humanity of course, just so that they extend their own lives beyond the normal scope. But instead of figuring out how to limit crime, expand education for everyone, or cure common diseases; we are too busy figuring out how to keep wrinkles from creasing skin and body parts from sagging. We are more focused on creating a robotic representation of ourselves, so that our superficial plastic persona can match the outer shell. (Believe me, I am not done with this topic.. it will be discussed in further review later on...)

It sickens me, really.. Hoping that making current people live forever will fix the world's problems is like letting a kid get behind the wheel of a Ferrari going top speed. It won't be pretty. 

Oh sure, we all think we are selfless, and we give ten bucks here and there for a generic charity. We hashtag #prayfor____ after a terrible news story shocks us. But in a few days we are back to the normal routine of asking how the weekend went, making a few comments on the weather, and what's-for-lunch.

I need a vacation.. to another universe.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Friend Indeed...

"A friend in need is a friend indeed.."

Who hasn't heard that before? When you're but a booger picking tot, learning colors and what not to put in your nose, these connections seem effortless, instantly rewarding and simple. But.. As we grow older and decide who we want to be and what we like, all of a sudden relationships seem more complicated then just exchanging the spare cookie or crayon for a smile. In fact all too soon, we are catapulted in the raging world known as teenagedom, and meeting someone you don't want to maul is a rare finding.

We spend the first quarter of our lives establishing who we want to be, our unique identity, and the second quarter hoping the rest of the world, or at least a select few, can accept who we are, flaws and all. Here's my two cents; if you want friends, or want to be a friend- its actually quite simple. Stop being selfish. 

No two people are the same. Quintessential truth that sometimes get blurred into the background, but essential nonetheless. Add to that different background, languages, cultures, barriers, environment... and friendships become a sodoku puzzle. Add the numbers wrong.. and you're off the grid. Keeping that in mind, it's good to keep in mind building good communication is the strongest foundation. As goes in any relationship. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Are you upset? Rolling your eyes and adding sarcasm to your "I'm FINE" won't get you anywhere.. Swallow your pride and apologize if you did wrong, and if you were the affected one, accept the apology and move on. Forgive and forget, forever.

Also.. keep your heart inside your rib cage, not your sleeve. I have been here before, on the absorbing every blow side of things, being a tad bit sentimental. It does no one good. If your friend has proven themselves time and time again. .chances are they are not intentionally hurting your feelings. Learn to brush it off, walk in stride.

Meet me halfway! Yeah I don't mind driving to see you, I don't mind changing my plans, I don't mind calling and texting to keep up the communication alive. But meet me halfway. Show me you are just as willing to put in to paving this two way street. It's a give and take kind of deal.. not a free for all.

And.. have some patience. There are times you will be annoyed, or I will, or we both will.. It happens. There are a ton of external factors usually implied.. but don't take it personal. We all have ups and downs. I'm counting on you to stick around if I go bananas one day, but come back to normality and make it up for it, just as I would for you. Just.. don't take my friendship for granted. Neither of us have an obligation to stay, but we do because we understand the value of coming across a special connection in our lives. Finding that person who becomes a slice of haven, that increments your joyful moments and cushions your pain.The one that appreciates the distinctive weirdness that makes you, you. The one you laugh with at things unsaid because you already know what the other is thinking. Those connections don't come with each rising of the sun, but perhaps with every solar eclipse. So when things hit a rough patch.. work through it. When you come out on the other side, you have only deepened the bond.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

A Revisit to Dusty Thoughts.. #ENFP

You know, it seems like interests come in seasons, then part like a violent tornado leaving behind nothing of value. And then when you least expect it, they make an unexpected resurgence. I have blasted Myers Briggs before.. if you don't remember when that was, you haven't been following me long enough and therefore have missed out on golden knowledge. Well, at least I'd like to think so. Here's the link to that piece of earth shattering philosophy: http://ninavstheworld.blogspot.com/2011/01/ninfamous-vs-myers-briggs.html

When I was younger it bugged me so much to be labeled an ENFP.. and well come to think of it, I just don't like labels. I have discussed this at great length, but seeing as I am a die-hard idealist that thinks you have any interest of hearing it again, here we go: Labels categorize mounds of people into generic slots. It's like dumping pink slime and filet mignon in the same tub. Obviously, a gross violation of sacred meat. So, that being said, personality tests that pompously declare they can decipher everyone just eats the sanity out of me. The little left, anyway.

But... upon reading about personality types again.. I have realized that there is no right or wrong answer. No matter what your preferences and core persona are, some people will like you, some people will not, you will be good at those things you try hard at, and fail at those you don't put enough effort and consistent determination in. Skills can be irrelevant.. In the words of Thomas Edison (whose guts I despise for mistreating and generally abusing the brilliant Nikola Tesla and probably stole this quote from the genius himself) it is 99% perspiration, and 1% inspiration.

So.. go ahead. Sit there glassy eyed and think you know the world based on a book. The beauty of humankind is we evolve, we improve, sometimes we even degrade. But we have the power to change course and redefine ourselves.