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Showing posts from January 16, 2011

Lady Faller In Fountain Water

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Hello folks! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday, whether buried in snow, or trying to look busy at work. For those of you that missed it, look no further. Remember when I said  texting would destroy us?  Yeah. This took my idea to a literal level. And a hilarious one at that. Okay, without further ado.. I present.. Fountain Lady! Best part? She springs out of that fountain like nothing happens and walks away. Then she tries to blame the mall people. I mean for reals lady. Be happy you were in a mall and not on a New York street. We wouldn't be laughing at the end of this video, and there would be a lot more to clean up than just a puddle. ;) I'm sure of two things: 1) This isn't the end of Fountain Lady. She'll probably be milking her 15 minutes of fame and adding injuries to her list of punitive damages, and 2) I hope your friend is willing to spoon over money for a new phone. 

Modern Women? Bah!

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The scene is the following. It's the early 1900s and women are upset over the ban on their voting. After all, they have great heads on their shoulders, they are apt visionaries, they are elite idealists! They should be able to vote, for they are more than just babymakers and cooks. After a whole deal of suffering, women were granted suffrage. (NO, suffrage is not the right to suffer) Fast forward to present day. Granted, some women are still dignified and working hard to represent the well-rounded, multi-dimensional female. But whom are the role models? Botox-happy plastic faces with even faker personalities, and one-trash minds. I mean really, Susan B Anthony would fall flat on her tush if she ever saw the 2010 new year's celebration where Kesha performed.  Ew. I mean we get, stockings ripped. But you look like Oscar's Roommate.   Except Oscar is cute. For Realz. It's like, so much for all the years of proving women are equal, and should be treated with respect a

Bullies & Life, Part 4

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So we've come to the end. You've survived thus far, barely, and your opponent shows no sign of disentregating. What now? Well, it's time to confront him/it. It's time to show no fear, to put on the Shwarsenegro face, and pray to the deity you believe in. A simple ultimatum will do. Nothing fancy- just stand up to your perpretator of pain and speak from the mind. "Enough is enough. You either cool it, or I take further action. You don't intimidate me, and I see right through your wall of "toughness". Now, I don't want to get the authorities involved, but believe you me, if that's what you want, that's what I'll do." Turn on your heel, and sprint for your life like tremors is after your sorry butt. Or, option two. To reason. "Listen. How much longer are you going to keep this up? I understand you derive joy from this endless torture chamber, but don't you think its time to grow up and make better use of your

Bullies & Life, Part 3

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A bully is not typically, a happy cheerful person. Because, let's face it, happy people don't feel the need to hurt others. So why does your bully feel he needs to?  If you have keenly observed as of yet, you may already have some clue as to what family life, or lack thereof, Meanie McPunkpants has. 9 out of 10 times, that's where his issues root from. You can  1) empathetically try to befriend the bully, and let him know you earnestly sympathasize for his difficult life, and that you hope it improves. Or, if that venue doesn't seem feasible, 2) try hitting the monster-maker. That's right, take it to his parentoids, his guardians, whomever "care" for his existence. Get the progenitors involved. Pronto. Victim informing parents, which quite concerned, promise action! More than likely, they have little or no clue as to what is going on with McPunkpant's life. So your job is to let them know. Try not to sound immature, try to get them in person, or

Bullies & Life, Part 2

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Pearl of Wisdom: Bullies deal with Bigger Bullies. Bullies in themselves are just a projection of their environment. At some point in their life they were abused, belittled, minimized, forgotten. Instead of changing the cycle, they've adopted a mindset of, "If my life blows, so shall everyone' elses."  What am I trying to get at? You can't change an enemy, but you can change how you feel towards the enemy. You can change your attitude towards an enemy. Once, a bullied kid noticed his bully didn't have lunch money one day at school. The kid took the iniciative and paid for the lunch. Such act of kindness softened the bully's heart- and from that day the attacks ceased. I'm not saying go hugging and kissing and buying your bully off- but I am saying, learn to watch for opportunities that you can show compassion, a degree of care for his sorrows or issues, and watch what happens. In this state-of-art representation, we see the victim handing the