Monday, January 17, 2011

Bullies & Life, Part 2

Pearl of Wisdom: Bullies deal with Bigger Bullies.
Bullies in themselves are just a projection of their environment. At some point in their life they were abused, belittled, minimized, forgotten. Instead of changing the cycle, they've adopted a mindset of, "If my life blows, so shall everyone' elses." 

What am I trying to get at? You can't change an enemy, but you can change how you feel towards the enemy. You can change your attitude towards an enemy. Once, a bullied kid noticed his bully didn't have lunch money one day at school. The kid took the iniciative and paid for the lunch. Such act of kindness softened the bully's heart- and from that day the attacks ceased.

I'm not saying go hugging and kissing and buying your bully off- but I am saying, learn to watch for opportunities that you can show compassion, a degree of care for his sorrows or issues, and watch what happens.

In this state-of-art representation, we see the victim handing the bully what would be lunch bag with food, or a blue brick of awesomeness. The response is favorable from the attacker.
Ever heard "kill them with kindness?" Psychopaths may not be fazed by this degree of interest, and others bullies may indeed question the motive of your acts. So, be sincere, and if a small demonstration of care didn't do it, let it be. However, you may be surprised to find the typical scornful kid (and even adult)may actually soften up and let down his wall, enough for you to peer into his insecurities and worries too. 

I'm not saying this is happily ever after, but if you can at least find common ground with your bully, and show him you understand his unhappiness, at least you will have staved off the next attack. In time for you to read Bullies & Life, Part 3.

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