Thursday, February 3, 2011

2,000 Hits Celebration!

I made it! Finally! To 2,000 hits on my blog. Alright, so maybe 1,700 have been my own clicks, but irregardless, they are clicks aren't they?! And you know what else?
[deafeninghornblare]I got here, all by myself. I'm following my writing dream even though the chances of becoming truly Ninfamous are ironically low. [/deafeninghornblare]
All joking aside, I want to thank you for reading these very words, for sticking with my insanity through the months of little posting and the days of pointless posting. As appreciation for your companionship, commentary, and blog-read-ness, i'm gonna tell ya what I'm gonna do.

I'm too broke to buy you an Ipad, or even a kindle, but I'm gonna get you the next best thing.
  • Discounts! w00t! I have some awesome coupons for Sephora, New York and Company, Waffle House, Baskin Robbins and Borders. Simply email me the ones you want and I'll email you the digital coupon :)
  • Two free ringtones. Any song. Any part of the song. I can MMS you the tone.
Okay, so its not anything fancy, but if I save you 50 cents, its worth something, right? Right? 
 That being said, someone pass me a root beer so we can get this party started! 
You know you like my Polygon Shirt. It's Geometricallyfabulous!

Sucker for Sci-Fi

Throw in a wormhole or two, and I'm game. Throw in a cute, tall nerdy guy, wormholes AND portals, and I'm a die-hard follower. Such is the reason why I love-d Sliders, until season 3.
What's Sliders? you may ask. Well, it's a geeky 90s show about a group of oddballs that were dragged along in a portal journey to parallel worlds. 
Are you still there? Hold on to your drool.. it gets better. They land in worlds almost identical to theirs. Same people, different decisions. In some worlds, Russia won the World War. In others, modern medicine never advanced. Its a fun show about what-ifs if certain outcomes to world-altering decisions had been opposite to what went down in our world.
Quinn Mallory is the lead actor, and lead nerd, whom accidentally created this portal in his basement and drags along his proffessor of alternate reality, his co-worker and secret crush Wade, and a random man who was driving in the area- Rembrandt. Now keep in mind sci-fi usually involves a whole load of cheesy, low-budget props, and c-list actors, but your imagination can certainly fill in the remaining gap. When the show was actually running, I used to watch it every now and then, and now thanks to Netflix instant queue, I can encompass all that sci-fi glory from the comfort of my laptop.
Then season 3 came around, and Fox sold out the show to Sci Fi Network, whom single-handedly sent the show to ashes with their replacement of two key characters with the stupid, captain-obvious, and macho-girl-wanna-be Maggie. Blech. The show went from exciting what-ifs to annoying and shallow flirting between Maggie and Quinn and running away from the evil monkey-looking warlords known as the Kro-Maggs. Fail. Another classic ruined by the Sci Fi Network.  [rant] I hate you Sci Fi! You and your abomination of shows you call "science fiction" which is more "sciency" than "science"! Raising ratings the cheap sell-out way by getting girls with low-cut shirts and zero talent to take lead roles in good shows! This is why no one believes in you anymore, and your burned out ideas of animals that have been "chemically enhanced" who turn out to be gigantic lizards
 or overgrown ladybugs! [/rant]
So anyway. Check out seasons 1 & 2 for some good old nerdy fun if you're locked indoors thanks to the snow. It'll give you something to laugh about, at least. :)

What's next? The Super Credible Super Scary Ladybug-looking.. Bunny.. thing

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Trampolines: Illustration of Human Ingenuity

You'd think clip after clip on America's Funniest Videos of idiots jumping on huge trampolines would be enough to discourage anyone to just quit altogether. Nothing good ever comes out of it. 

The best part is when someone attempts to jump near sharp objects, sheds, fences, or while riding a bike. 

But, idiots are a dime a hundred these days, and trampolines illustrate just how far human ingenuity has come. Check out what makes this near 1,000,000 hit video on Youtube a Trampo Fail. Like for reals dude. No two sports should be tried in combination on the world's deadliest spring machine!! And I think its time you re-evaluated your friends. 


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ninfamous vs People With Strange Addictions

Not quite sure whether this is a rant, or something insightful. Maybe its a little of both, therefore it will be dubbed, Rantsightful!

Anyhow.. I was flipping through channels on a regular bored basis one evening, and got swallowed in by the most riveting and nauseauting of ways. It's TLC's show called, "Strange Addictions." If you've never watched it, I'm debating whether you should or should/not. Its depressing, and in another light, kind of comforting to know that you're not one of them (or are you?) but then again, that kind of makes me feel bad about myself.. if that makes any sense.

Irregardless, (YES, i know it's the wrong spelling, but I like the way it sounds ;) it was quite fascinating to see people go on TV and make public embarrassments of themselves by broadcasting front and center what their very strange addictions are.

For example, last week featured a fruit cake looking guy who lived with a life size doll for ten years and treated her like his own flesh and blood wife. Next, a woman that for 20 something years had been eating.. wait for it.. toilet paper. Another single mother slept with a blow dryer by her body every night, and used it continuously during the day. And last, a young woman who poked her scabs til she could no more. If you think it sounds bad, maybe you should spare yourself the visual. What's wrong with the world today? As if smoking and drug abuse weren't bad enough, now we have a plethora of other oddball addictions people are picking up.

Obviously, these people can't just stop what they have been doing for so long. But it really makes you wonder, how on earth do you find sleeping with a blow dryer comforting? Those things burn and smell like burned plastic after being turned on more than 30 seconds. And toilet paper is bland and balls up.. and just ew.. Well, at least when she uses the bathroom she probably won't need to use any more bath tissue. Okay okay, maybe that was a little too much.

But honestly. It's quite sad to see how people can be controlled by their addictions. The scab-poker even picked up staph infection from so much digging into her skin. And she couldn't stop, endangering her own health. Blow-dry happy ruined her first marriage after her husband couldn't take her addiction any more. (supposedly) Anyhow.. the point is their addictions have become some kind of god they worship even if it means their own demise. Pretty sad, huh?
TP and Blow Dryer - just two of God knows how many strange addictions..

So I guess my viewpoint on this is the following: Appreciate the physical/mental health you have, whether relative, limited, or imaginary, and as soon as you see one of your immediate friends or family members developing some funny, odd or even silly addiction.. do what you can to get them help. It won't just go away like a puberty phase.

P.S. Is sleeping with a smart phone a strange addiction? ;)

Any resemblance to me is pure coinkidink!

Monday, January 31, 2011

The English Idioms

What would life be without wonderful idioms? How many times have you sauteed and flavored your colloquial speech (and or offended someone) by using them? 
For example.. the ever popular, NO OFFENSE
Like really, you may as well save your breath, because every time someone uses no offense, its always going to be something quite insulting. For Example :

No offense, Mark, but your girlfriend is a floozy.  Or 
No one likes your taste in clothes, no offense..

Ridiculous. Its like trying to be frank but apologizing for it, and in the end, you still look like a donkey's butt. 
It's almost like "Don't take it personal!" but in reality, you are saying it because you want the person to change their persona.. therefore making it wholly personal. 

Growing up, one of the popular idioms were, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words never will!" What a load of barnacles in disguise. The reality is words can strike deeper than any stone and usual do, and mar a person for life.

I sit here and think.. if you switch m to t, you've got yourself a whole new word with a whole different perspective.  Who created this culture of idioms? For whom? To avoid saying things the straight way? 

What other pointless idioms can you think of?