Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Nina vs Desperate Women

Dear Ladies Without A Man..

Oh how quickly life passes by us, eh? It seems like just yesterday your skin was tight and fresh and you turned down every Peter Puberty that asked you to the high school dance. Fast forward twenty odd years and now you'd kill to date that very Peter, face boils and all.

Yet here we are in the year 2011 and not even Larry the fat grocer with more hair on his stomach than his head will give you a second look. And he's partially blind. So for some odd reason you think promoting yourself like you would a facebook fan page or a Nobel prize will get you recognition- which may lead to-ultimately, a male species.

Well I'm here to tell you that ain't how it goes. Besides looking like utter fools, you'll only gain the disrespect and disgust of others that watch you selling yourself with disdain.. (and to no availl.) Let's face it, desperate girls are about as attractive as rotting fruit in the clearance aisle. Yeah, you'll get attention, just not the kind you'll appreciate. (Refer to Figure 1A)

Loneliness blows- I agree. But suffocating every man with unnecessary information and tooooo much attention is going to get you even deeper in that lonely hole. And plastering your lonely sad life on the internet is not going to buy you compassion- or even a drink.

The point is, my progesterone laden female fossils, that you should never swap your dignity for just an opportunity to be looked upon. Just do your thing, don't read into general kind actions of the male gender, and eventually someone will show up. But here's a tip, never mention designing your own wedding dress or what your children together will look like on the first date.

Clearance ain't always good..

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