Thursday, June 16, 2011

How To Become A Millionaire!!

I cracked the code. There's only one easy way to become a millionaire. Normally you'd need to brainwash your way to the top, or step on toes and do everyone favors. But not if you're smart. There's a shortcut to unlimited money from exploiting the brainless. How?

Invent a holiday. Now, stay with me. How much money do you think retail stores profit every time they wag a flyer around or broadcast a commercial saying it's Father's Day sale or Memorial Day sale, or even Flag Day sale? Apparently, holiday=coughing up dough. And if you want a piece of the pie, you should start making up a holiday to profit from.

You know what mine will be? National Mocking Day! T Shirts, sales, mugs, coolers, foam hats, beads.. Wait. I'm confusing that with Mardi Gras. Anyway. Make up a ridiculous reason to have a holiday, get a half day off from work, and spend all the money you really need on junk you don't.

Still think it wouldn't fly? Okay, Greeting Cards. The entire Greeting Card industry completely created a bunch of ridiculous holidays and have the cheesy cards to back them up. How did that ever make it into marketing?! A stupid crappy sketch.. a lame one liner inside.. Hold on- I think I just thought of my next brilliant marketing project!

Presenting the "Nina vs The World" notecards set. 20 random funny cards! Upset your friends and possibly get fired from work. Genius.



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