Nina vs The World

Who says Americans are lazy? 

I ts not that Americans don't care anymore. But when you've got every village idiot running for office, its almost inevitable that at some point, people stop taking things seriously. How so? (Play close attention. The main ideas are in bold .) Politicians seem to make it a rite of passage to have some moral scandal implode midway in their careers. I mean really Shwarz? You couldn't have done any better? You picked that woman to be your mistress? She looks like the woman that ate your mistress. There's not enough beer in the world that can make her look as if she's worth losing a family and a rep, Governator. It's not that Americans don't really care for politics, it's just the wrong people are involved. In fact, I bet if Larry the cable guy, Will Ferrell, Jim Gaffigan, Steve Carrel and both Flight of the Chonchords guys ran for office, all of a sudden you'd have America voting. Its all about giving the people what they like, right? In fact, po...

I cracked the code. There's only one easy way to become a millionaire. Normally you'd need to brainwash your way to the top, or step on toes and do everyone favors. But not if you're smart. There's a shortcut to unlimited money from exploiting the brainless. How? Invent a holiday . Now, stay with me. How much money do you think retail stores profit every time they wag a flyer around or broadcast a commercial saying it's Father's Day sale or Memorial Day sale, or even Flag Day sale? Apparently, holiday=coughing up dough. And if you want a piece of the pie, you should start making up a holiday to profit from. You know what mine will be? National Mocking Day! T Shirts, sales, mugs, coolers, foam hats, beads.. Wait. I'm confusing that with Mardi Gras. Anyway. Make up a ridiculous reason to have a holiday, get a half day off from work, and spend all the money you really need on junk you don't. Still think it wouldn't fly? Okay, Greeting Cards. The e...

It's either half-empty, or half-full. No need for a five page dissertation, Confucius.

What is that makes the life of spies so alluring that the entertainment world always promotes it? Is it the fact that death escapades make up their daily bread? The fact they have subsequent lives, parallel lives, alter egos, aliases, and a whole set of nine lives? Of course, I am just basing my accurate notions on reading "The Athena Project" and watching The Tourist. But for mostly everyone, it must be riveting to lead a seemingly shadow less life and be "off the radar." Now let's be real. How many real spies do you know in person? What's that you say? That would defeat the purpose? That's no excuse. If you want a bunch of hoodlums after you for no apparent reason, you can just set up camp in New Haven. No need to go to the government for that. What knocks me off my rocker, (yes, I really did just use that expression and I can feel my popularity plummeting) is that in every spy movie, the main character doesn't die, the "bad" guys do,...

People, we finally made it. We passed the 5,000 mark! But.. but why are so many other bloggers more successful? Why do old ladies with boring stories from the past have more than 600 followers? Why is every other blog a blog on parenting with a cheesy name like, "Keeping up with the Kooklas!" Or "Raising Tommy, Whammy, and Flammy!" Why am I still frozen in time at 9 followers and only 21 LIKES?! I'm dedicated! I'm smart-ish, and once in a while, I'm ridiculously funny! There are certain conundrums I will never figure out. Think about it. It's a difficult world for women! (Yes.. another feminist rampage.) Especially the young and childless. You can't succeed by pity, or by exploiting your nonexistant kids. In this world, imaginary children are just not that important to anyone. Nonsense! You may respond. But listen here, buddy. How long did it take women to reach top notch paying yobs eh? And I don't mean extensive street social work.. if ...

Several things on this planet may feel insulting. A whack in the face. A contemptuous attempt at our dignity. But nothing can reduce your self esteem faster than being set up. You all know what I'm talking about. You're hanging out with friends, they start talking about other friends, all of a sudden you find someone saying they remind you so much of someone they know. Next thing they know, they're promising the best relationship you never had if you give this guy a chance. "He's so much like you!" "He's such a visionary!" "You guys would get along great." "You have the same sense of humor!" So here you are, trekking vineyards of roses, forming clouds in your coffee, getting your hopes higher than the bum on dope. And then, when the awaited moment happens, every fiber of your ego comes crashing down into an explosive mess that will neither leave remains nor ruins. It will just completely evaporate your self worth. The ...