Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Follow the Media Media Media

Let's put it this way. You've never been a fan of vegetables. The very thought of asparagus makes you cringe. If you were stranded on an island that thrived on veggies, you'd consider the alternate venue of allowing your gastric acids to consume your stomach lining.

But one day as you sit there munching a cookie, a commercial airs where a gorgeous blond holds a bright orange crunchy wet carrot. She bites it- making the most fun acoustic crunches in sync with one of those ambient underground hippy-ish sound tracks. You know, the ones that only sound good in lays and hp commercials that last thirty seconds. Your mouth has begun to water. You lay down the cookie and walk into the light ...of the fridge. You are now a believer.

It sounds goofy, but everyday companies spend millions advertising their product. The result? They have your average consumer yearning for a vast array of objects, from the newest ifail to campbells soup. Usually were quick to catch on when publicity bombards us with shiny junk we don't need..but when it comes to the entertainment media, most close their eyes and gladly surrender their will to become celebrity gossip zombies- or zombrities, for short. The truth is so many people are mindless zombrities they can't even develop lives of their own without wondering how many jimmy choos Katy Perry owns or how many objects Snookie is doing. And how about this nonsense of whom are the hottest girls? Who or what decides who falls in that category? And why do ignorant people take what headlines and magazines take as absolute truth?

I mean, Megan Fox, really? Five years ago she just another chick in a super girly, super fake Lindsay Lohan movie. No one even knew her bra size. Fast forward to botox, breasts implants and nose and cheekbone cosmetic adjustments and now she's considered the hottest chick alive? Really?

You don't fool me. 

Before And After- and she doesn't even look like the same person.
Well I prefer to use my head, and to use it frequently. It's not that I'm a hater, because I do think certain celebrities are attractive, like Charlize Theron and Rebecca Romijn. Megan Fox-breath doesn't fool me. Beneath the spastic surgery she's just another plain Jane-everyone else, girl-next-door's-puppy. If thousands of dollars spent and hours under the knife make you the world's most beautiful plastic bag, I rather be plain old brown bag. Nothing special, just a narrow paper bag to hold your lunch. And make awesome googly eyed puppets with.

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