Friday, January 6, 2012

Nina vs Fairytales

I'm busting out the old boxing gloves. What can I say? Old habits die hard. And this time in the ring against me are fairytales. There isn't anything as toxic, deadly or highly corruptible as fairy tales are to reality.

It's cruel, really, if you sit down and think about it. The Notebook, A Walk in The Clouds, A Walk to Remember, The Proposal, etc Basically any cheesy movie that starts with A or The and includes some intangible romantic object in the title. Take off thin plot and fluff of the movie, and you've got the same over heated ideas. A platform for promoting the biggest lies and myths of the game. 

Men do change! Jerks become wonderful people. Love lasts forever even if the last time you saw the person you love they smacked a restraining order on you. Love blossoms anywhere from 1 day to 2 weeks and will overcome evil parents, wicked managers, paranoid aliens and even death. Sadly- the younger ones that haven't had their heart callused by the realities of the world swallow this stuff up like there's no tomorrow. 

I'm sorry. But if he left you, he isn't coming back. And it's probably a good thing. As Katy Perry so eloquently phrased it, he's "The One that Got Away." If you fell in love at age 15 I can almost promise you you'll have forgotten the dude's name by age 20. And for the love of everything holy- you can't change people. That's right, I'm staring at you, Beauty and The Beast. Yes, you may have broken a curse, but that husband of yours is still a twisted monster inside. He just got a new paint job. 

So you got dumped. Worry not, life has been scientifically proven to go on, and not necessarily any less enjoyably. Eventually you'll find another muse. Don't think for one second every day of your life you'll sigh deeply, lose interest in life, and binge on ice cream because Mr. Joe Schmo broke your heart. It ain't no Humpty Dumpty. But the stuff back together again, smile and carry on. 

To conclude? Don't expect Brad Pitt to bust through your window on a unicorn and fly you away to Tahiti. Make your standards believeable- make it Pablo, in his Chevy Malibu '98 with 16" rims and a long weekend vacation to Sandy Ego.

*Not to be confused with the metropolitan city in California*

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